


Big and Chunky

by autumnkonoha



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ??? but it's kind of a shitpost, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Konoha Love Week 2020, M/M, Mild Language, konoha and akaashi are petty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27864457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnkonoha/pseuds/autumnkonoha
Summary: A world where soulmates can hear what music the other is listening to can be very annoying.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Konoha Akinori
Comments: 8
Kudos: 56
Collections: KonohaLoveWeek 2020





	Big and Chunky

**Author's Note:**

> Please listen to this playlist [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdadtddMqwg9dPflHeRIMLSWQW2JIDZrX) to accompany this fic.

Konoha groans, mentally cursing his soulmate for the thousandth time today because of his lack of sleep last night caused by his soulmate playing some weird opera shit at 2 am. Konoha thought opera music was supposed to lure people to sleep, considering how he almost fell asleep at a classical music performance parents dragged him to years ago, but his brain decided to be real funny last night and refused to sleep. He's fuming, unable to focus on the report his work needs tomorrow morning, and he wants revenge. Just then, a glorious idea pops into his head and he snickers, opening up Spotify.

_Chunky, chunky, chunky, chunky, chunky_

_I like them big, I like them chunky_

_(Chunky)_

_I like them big, I like them plumpy_

_(Plumpy)_

_I like them round, with something, something_

_(Something)_

_They like my sound, they think I'm funky_

_(Funky)_

Konoha evil cackles as he sets his favorite song to repeat, turning the volume up a few notches as an extra touch. Satisfied with his work, he returns to writing his report.

“I like them hippos, that's in the wild. I like the attitude, I like their style. The way they walk, walk, the way they talk, talk,” Konoha sings under his breath as he types away at his keyboard.

“ _What_ are you listening to?” Sarukui asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Big and Chunky from Madagascar,” Konoha responds casually as if it’s a regular song people listen to.

Sarukui furrows his brows, but then lets it go. Konoha has done weirder things.

_Jellicle cats come out tonight_

_Jellicle cats come one, come all_

_The Jellicle Moon is shining bright_

_Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball_

“Oh my fucking god!” Konoha exclaims, “they’re playing Cats, fucking Cats.”

“Well, you _were_ listening to Big and Chunky, so you should’ve expected something,” Sarukui replies.

“Correction, I’m still listening to Big and Chunky and they were the one who woke me up in the middle of the night,” the blond pouts.

“Yeah, but you’ve been listening to that song for at least an hour,” Sarukui shrugs.

Konoha frowns, turning up his music, “this is war and I’m not losing.”

“It’s nice to know your soulmate is equally petty as you.”

_Jellicle cats develop slowly_

_(I like them chunky)_

_Jellicle cats are not too big_

_(Chunky, chunky, chunky, chunky, chunky)_

_Jellicle cats are roly-poly_

_(And plumpy)_

_We know how to dance a gavotte and a jig_

_(Plumpy, plumpy, plumpy, plumpy, plumpy)_

Akaashi slams his book down, earning a look from Bokuto. He sighs, rubbing his eyes from under his glasses.

“What‘s got you down?” Bokuto asks.

“It’s really stupid,” Akaashi replies, sighing again.

Bokuto laughs, “you’re Akaashi, nothing you do is stupid.”

“My soulmate started playing that one Big and Chunky song from Madagascar on repeat, so in retaliation, I started playing The Jellicle Ball on repeat,” the younger replies, “this has been going on for three hours now and I’m not backing down.”

Bokuto’s face is red from trying to hold back his laughter and Akaashi raises an eyebrow at him. The older dons the straightest face he could manage. 

“Just tell them to stop,” Bokuto suggests in between snickers.

“I don’t exactly know them,” Akaashi replies.

Bokuto rubs his chin, looking the most pensive Akaashi has ever seen, “there’s probably a song called please stop or something like that if you Google it.”

Akaashi takes out his phone, opening YouTube. Finding a video named “please stop please stop please stop please stop please stop please stop please stop please stop,” he sets the video to a loop and prays it does the trick.

_N-O N-O no no no no no_

_N-O N-O no no no no no_

Akaashi groans, throwing his book onto the table, “they’re playing some kind of no song.”

“They’d probably stop if you stopped,” Bokuto shrugs.

“Yes, but I don’t want to,” Akaashi replies, “it would be admitting defeat.”

“How much does this happen? I don’t think they just wanted to mess with you to mess with you. They were probably upset by something you did before and then did this to let you know,” Bokuto says.

The younger facepalms, “oh.”

“You did pull an all-nighter last night, right?” the owl-haired man smiles, looking too smug about how he connected the dots.

Akaashi nods, sighing and turning off his music, “I might’ve played some opera at 2 am.”

Bokuto laughs, “mystery solved and you’re still coming to the dinner with Konoha and Sarukui tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, why?” Akaashi asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, just to make sure,” Bokuto replies, patting Akaashi on the back. Akaashi thinks something is up with Bokuto, but he’s too tired, and frustrated from his soulmate's impeccable music taste, to figure out what.

“So where are the others?” Konoha asks as he approaches Akaashi.

Akaashi shrugs, “they haven’t texted me anything.”

Konoha rubs his face with his mittens, “it’s cold. Do you want to go in now? And they can find us when they get here?”

Akaashi nods and he follows Konoha into the restaurant, Konoha giving his reservation details to the host.

“So, how’s your day been?” Konoha asks.

“Same as always,” the younger replies, “what about you?”

Konoha doesn’t want to admit that he was riding the high of winning a war against his soulmate all day and he does not want to embarrass himself in front of Akaashi with how petty he is, so he opts for a “it was good.”

They take a seat and browse the menu, Konoha deliberating whether he should get one or two plates of karaage.

“They haven’t said anything yet,” Akaashi says after a few minutes, referring to the radio silence from Bokuto and Sarukui in the group chat.

“That’s weird,” Konoha replies. Bokuto and Sarukui would usually say something if they were ever running late.

“I did notice Bokuto smiling at his phone a lot last night, maybe he’s up to something,” Akaashi furrows his eyebrows, looking off into the distance, “though I don’t know what.”

“Well, if they’re not coming, then I’m going to order because I’m starving,” Konoha says as he flags down a waiter.

“That was some good food,” Konoha boasts as he browses the check, satisfied after a good casual dinner with Akaashi. Both Akaashi’s and Konoha’s phones buzz at the same time, signaling a message in the group chat.

_From Bokuto:_

_TALK ABOUT LAST NIGHT_

“What the hell?” Konoha whispers under his breath, looking around the restaurant. Akaashi points to a table in the opposite corner, where Bokuto and Sarukui are hiding behind a drink menu. Konoha sighs, about to get up and confront them when their phones buzz again.

_From Bokuto:_

_STOP LOOKING AT US AND TALK_

_From Sarukui:_

_Do what he says_

Akaashi rolls his eyes at the other two, “so what did you do last night, Konoha-san?”

Konoha cringes, _guess I’m going to make a fool of myself in front of Akaashi._

“Look, I need to explain myself from the beginning,” the blond replies, “so two nights ago I was woken up in the middle of the night by my soulmate listening to music, and you know I had my big report for work due today, so last night I might’ve… listened to Big and Chunky on repeat for hours as revenge.”

Akaashi is covering his mouth laughing, “holy shit.”

“But at least my soulmate is equally petty, they played The Jellicle Ball on repeat too!” Konoha exclaims, trying to regain any dignity he could, “don’t laugh at me!”

The younger smiles, “well, that’s funny because last night I was reading when suddenly my soulmate started listening to Big and Chunky on repeat.”

Konoha tilts his head, “that’s weird- ohh.”

Akaashi leans over the table, his face only an inch away from Konoha’s, “now that I know you’re my soulmate... please get a better music taste.”

Konoha gasps and frowns before he takes his phone out, sticks his earbuds in, and ignores Akaashi’s pleading as he bops to “Big and Chunky” for the hundredth time that week.

**Author's Note:**

> I've lost my mind


End file.
